10 Phrases You Should Never Use in Performance Reviews

When it comes to interpersonal communication, knowing what not to say ranks high up there with knowing what to say.

Performance review conversations can be delicate; even if employees know what to expect (as they should!), it’s common for direct reports to feel nervous going into formal performance appraisals. 

Managers, too, can lack confidence in phrasing constructive feedback, feel overwhelmed by the performance review process, or simply lack the emotional intelligence needed to facilitate performance review conversations effectively. When this happens, managers may improvise and slip into everyday language, deploy ineffectual phrases, or unknowingly allow bias into their reviews.

{{rich-takeaway}}

10 Phrases Not to Say in a Performance Review 

Managers looking to improve their approach to performance review discussions should avoid the following phrases and opt for the alternative recommendation to facilitate more generative employee performance review discussions.

1. “Always” or “Never”

Absolutes, like “always” or “never,” rarely reflect reality, are likely to create defensiveness in the receiver, and shut down proactive dialogue. For example, if you tell a direct report “Let’s be honest, you’re always late to team meetings,” they’re going to be more focused on finding counterexamples than engaging with your underlying concern.

Instead, identify what you’re actually trying to say and use specific examples to illustrate the pattern you see. Tell them you appreciate their dedication to their other priorities, but that you’ve noticed a pattern of lateness to weekly team calls. For example, two weeks ago they joined 9 minutes into a 30-minute call during which their input was needed. Explain how their tardiness disrupted the flow of the meeting, and ask what they are struggling with when they are delayed. This opens the door for employees to share any issues they’re running into and can help you find solutions together. 

2. “You should do it this way.” 

It’s one thing to offer suggestions if an employee asks. It’s different (and potentially patronizing) to provide unsolicited directives or talk about how you would handle a situation. Remember that an employee’s approach to something isn’t wrong just because you would do it differently. 

‍Instead, start with questions to identify what your employee is struggling with. If you’ve been through a similar situation, ask if they’re open to hearing how you dealt with it. While they might have a valid reason why they can’t do what you did, you’re still working together to find a solution.

It’s almost as though you’ve brought an invisible army with you, which is immediately going to put someone on the defensive.

3. “Everyone has noticed that...” 

Nothing will make an employee feel attacked like being told “everyone” feels a certain way. “It’s almost as though you’ve brought an invisible army with you, which is immediately going to put someone on the defensive,” said Ashley Chubrik, director of people operations at Atomus Partners, a consulting firm for small and mid-sized businesses.

While you may need to address how an employee’s behavior impacts others, don’t bring peers into the conversation unless absolutely necessary. Instead, craft your feedback to illustrate the problematic behavior and its effect. The Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI)™ feedback model is an effective way to share constructive criticism more objectively. 

Consider saying something like this: “During yesterday’s client pitch, you offered a six-week timeline estimate without consulting the implementation team (situation/behavior). This caused our development lead to contradict the timeline later in the meeting, which created confusion for the client and required that we schedule an additional clarifying call (impact).”

4. “But so-and-so can...” 

How others are performing has no bearing on an individual’s performance. Each employee is hired according to their own skills, talents, and ability to meet and exceed the job description. This can mean that sometimes one team member may struggle with the same workload that others can handle, but comparing an employee to their peers during a review will only foster resentment and create a negative team environment.
‍Instead, open a dialogue to check in and understand what’s going on. They may be unclear on expectations or working on a project you don’t have visibility into. Then, focus the conversation on their opportunities for growth. 

Rather than saying, “Xiao can handle five projects at once, but you struggle with three,” you could say, “I’ve noticed you seem overwhelmed with your current project load. How are you feeling about it? I think it’d be helpful for us to discuss some strategies to improve project management skills, and I’d like to understand what support you may need.”

{{rich-highlight-1}}

5. “Everything is great.” 

Don’t get us wrong. We think giving consistent praise is so important we created a whole product around it. But appreciation isn’t the same as feedback, nor is it always as useful. Phrases like “everything is great” or “you’re doing great” are vague and devoid of an opportunity to help an employee improve. 

Plus, when managers lean on vague performance review phrases, they may disadvantage some employees over others. In a 2016 Harvard Business Review article, researchers Shelley J. Correll, PhD, and Caroline Simard, PhD presented research that found women are more likely to receive vague feedback like “Great job!” while their male counterparts are more likely to receive feedback tied to business outcomes. 

Research published in a 2021 Harvard Business Review article echoed Correll and Simard’s discoveries. Researchers Elena Doldor, PhD, Madeleine Wyatt, PhD, and Jo Silvester, PhD found that when it came to feedback about confidence, women were more likely to receive “generic advice,” while men received more specific instruction. 

Over the course of a career, the quality of feedback employees receive matters a lot. While there's nothing wrong with positive reinforcement, there are more useful ways to phrase it than “great job.” Rather, be specific, use concrete examples, and connect to greater organizational impact. “Be really illustrative around what they’ve done well and how it impacts the department and the business,” said Chubrik. This helps employees understand specifically why what they’re doing well matters.

6. “You are [insert personality trait here].” 

Remember that performance reviews are for evaluating an employee on their performance, not their personality. Personality is largely unchangeable and subjective, and unfortunately, personality-based feedback is generally vague (see above) and often a mask for bias.

Secondly, personality-based feedback doesn’t help an individual improve the same way that actionable, performance-based insights do. Extrapolated out over the lifetime of a career, the actionable insights that men are more likely to receive, according to Correll and Simard’s 2016 Harvard Business Review article, provide fodder for real improvement. Hearing that you are “friendly and welcoming” does not. 

Rather, managers should focus on specific, observable behaviors, and tie those to work outcomes, deliverables, and impact at the team and organizational level. 

7. “How would you rate your performance?” 

It’s the manager’s responsibility to provide feedback related to performance, not the individual’s. Sure, self-evaluation is important, and employees should come prepared to discuss their performance, but asking them to rate it themselves shifts the burden onto the employee and can create an awkward dynamic. 

Instead, Chubrik recommends managers “Make the question more specific. What is your question really trying to get at? It could be, ‘Are there some examples of things you’ve been very proud of?’” she said. “With opportunities for improvement, ask ‘Is there anything you can think of where you could have handled a situation differently based on a responsibility of your job or an organizational value?’”

If you’re doing [annual] reviews, and they’re not interspersed with regular feedback and one-on-ones, employees are more likely to be shocked.

8. “I recently noticed…” 

Recency bias, the tendency to give more importance to recent events, is a particularly stubborn bias to combat. While it’s natural to be most cognizant of the latest behaviors and events, doing so doesn’t give a comprehensive snapshot of performance. Phrases like, “I recently noticed,” or “Lately, I’ve seen,” are problematic because they set you up to give feedback loaded with recency bias.

It’s okay to talk about recent performance, as long as that’s not all you’re touching on. Create a culture of continuous feedback with regular communication touchpoints to ensure all wins and opportunities for improvement are noticed, discussed, and recorded. One-on-ones are a good time to do so, as are mid-year reviews.

9. "I haven't had time to prepare for this meeting." 

There’s probably no faster way to signal to an employee that their development is not a priority for you than this phrase — a big mistake given that 68% of HR professionals surveyed in Lattice’s 2025 State of People Strategy Report believe that learning and development opportunities would improve employee engagement.

Work is busier than ever, and managers know this to be true more than anyone. But if you expect an employee to come ready to discuss their performance, you should be prepared yourself. Prepare by reviewing documentation from one-on-ones, progress on individual development plans, and employee goals and OKRs. 

10. “You may be surprised to hear this.” 

Performance reviews shouldn’t come with surprises, period. Concerns should be addressed via regular feedback channels like one-on-ones, not saved for review time. Processing unexpected feedback — especially developmental feedback — while simultaneously discussing goals, makes for a less effective conversation. 

Chubrik noted that surprises in performance reviews often result from a structural issue. “If you’re doing annual and biannual reviews, and they’re not interspersed with regular feedback and one-on-ones, employees are more likely to be shocked by what they hear,” she said. “This tends to be more systems-related, and is a sign that a more comprehensive approach to performance management is needed,” she added. 

{{rich-highlight-2}}

How Often to Conduct Performance Reviews

Performance reviews earned a bad rap for years, and it’s not hard to see why. A once-yearly retrospective on performance understandably left employees feeling demoralized. The tide has turned, and now modern organizations use annual performance reviews to look forward more than back. 

There is no one best cadence for performance reviews, but here are a few good foundational rules. 

• Ensure regular feedback conversations between managers and direct reports via one-on-ones. These allow for quick alignment and support an ongoing cadence of two-way communication. HR can provide templates or use software like Lattice to transcribe feedback in one centralized place. 
• Mid-year reviews provide a second option for a formal performance evaluation. This can help curb recency bias and provide a checkpoint for progress on employee goals and growth.
• Annual reviews should synthesize overall performance across the year while setting the direction for the coming year. 

How Lattice Can Help 

Effective performance review conversations are essential for high-performing teams and thriving company cultures. Avoiding these phrases and understanding why they’re unhelpful is a great place to start. 

Level up your performance review conversations even more with Lattice’s people management platform to set and revise goals and OKRs with ease, record feedback, and ensure a holistic view of employee performance. 

Take a tour of Lattice today and test drive our performance management software yourself — instantly and within your browser, no appointment necessary.